


Marbled Hearts

by SnorkleShit



Series: Blessed Skies [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angels, Cursed Castiel, Curses, Destiel - Freeform, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Molestation, Non-Consensual, Rape/Non-con Elements, Wings, fairytale, statue, statue!cas, wing!kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:58:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a medieval world full of mystery and magic and danger, humans and angels live in harmony. Almost every angel visits earth, some live in Heaven, some choose to live on Earth. Its as normal as breathing. But there's one angel who's never set foot on Earth- Castiel, God's last creation before he disappeared. He's different from the get go, and the other angels hate him. They hate him, and keep him locked away. But when a string of murders begins to crop up, all signs point to an angel doing it, and Castiel is sent after the perpetrator. But Lucifer is more then two steps ahead, and before you can blink, Castiel's body is turned to stone, deep in a cavern underground. Still alive, awake, aware, and trapped. All alone.  Then, the angels disappeared from the Earth completely. 150 years pass, and a group of ruggaband adventurers finds the cavern and decides its a great place to call home base. Little do they know, they have an audience. Castiel quickly learns to love these humans, watching them all interact from day to day.<br/>But he tries not to get his hopes up they could ever help him. The only way to break the curse is through love.</p><p>And after all- what fool would love a stone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Falling in the Wrong Direction

**Author's Note:**

> yes yes yes I know I should be working on Sun Over The Sea but this just won't leave me alone. Enjoy.

 

 

          In a land of tyrants and damsels and dark things, of roaming hills and thick untamable forests, towering mountains and hidden valleys, there lived a myriad of different creatures. The most prominent among these were humans. Closely seconded by rabbits, of course. There breeding habits were similar in success rates. But besides them, no man could name everything that flew and swam and hide in the darkest corners. Goblins, bears the size of rats, demons, and if you traveled to the honest farming town of Orhimim, you'd find an rather bonky old man who'll swear up and down that he spotted a unicorn. But humans grew to know that skepticism was foolish, living in a place such as they did. For the most part, this was true. But there was one creature that arose controversy among many.  
Angels.  
Legend says they used to walk among the humans and live with them, plain as day. But something happened, and suddenly they were all gone. Like a part of every heart had been torn away without any warning. There was an uneasy gap in the world, and the darker creatures began to grow in number and daring, coming out of there dark holes. Almost a century later, and still no one knew what had happened, and lots sneered and said that angels had never existed at all. Some forced themselves to stop caring, ignore the empty space in their lives. Some became obsessed, particularly artists. Winged men stood proud in stone forms on almost every street corner of the grander towns, like a half baked attempt to replace their long lost companions. Paintings, stained glass, wood carvings- you could find an angel wherever you looked, in a sense.  
But still a great question remains- what happened?  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------  
150 YEARS EARLIER  
\-----------------------------  
A tense hand placed itself on the hilt of a dagger, as a figure slowly crept among the dark tunnels. He'd been tracking his prey for it seemed like forever, and now, finally, he had Lucifer cornered. Despite the gravity of the situation, a small tickle of excitement stuttered in the young warriors chest. The angel took a silent breath and quelled it. There was no time for frivolous gloating- he had to either capture or kill Lucifer, then return to Heaven, to receive praise and more orders. Farther and farther he tracked the scent into the network of caves, until finally he came to what seemed to be the main cavern. He crept through the shadows, glancing from left to right and up. But it was a noise behind him that caused him to whirl around. Lucifer was leaning against the side of the entrance, a smirk on his features. How had he gotten past him?  
"Hello, Castiel." The angel turned devil cooed.  
His grip tightened on his dagger. "Its over, Lucifer." He deadpanned. The angel with bright golden wings tutted.  
"I don't think it is. At least, not for me. Tell me, little brother, why are you really here? We both know it isn't really to protect humans. You've never even seen one before, have you?" He sighed loftily, running his nails across the stone wall an he slowly approached. Castiel's jaw tightened. "Of course I'm here to protect them. I will not stand by and let you murder our Father's creations." He said sternly, trying to put more strength into his voice then he felt.  
Lucifer laughed, a condescending laugh that made the hair on the back of Castiel's neck rise up.  
"Oh please Castiel, your not here for the humans. Rapheal's had you cooped up in Heaven your whole lowly existence. I know why your really here. You think, If you catch or kill me, if you succeed, they will respect you. No, more then that. You think they will love you." Lucifer's eye's grew hard.  
"Well, they won't. They never have and they never will." He spat, inching closer. Castiel flinched involuntarily.  
"I was there when Father created you. I watched as from his hand's you tumbled forth, black wings and all, and suddenly he was gone. He left the minute you left his embrace. He left us, and worse then that, he left us with you." Lucifer hissed in disgust.  
"Your a freak, a mistake. And God couldn't bear to look at you, so he left. And no matter how hard we have all tried, we cannot love you. You are a monster, and the reason our Father abandoned us. They will never love you." Lucifer's expression softened, and he leaned forward a little.  
"But I'm not like them. I always thought you were amazing, black and blue, even if Father didn't. Remember when I would bring you flowers from the mountains? Please, Castiel, join me. Im only killing those the world doesn't need, and once I have enough souls. we will lock THEM away, Castiel." Lucifer pleaded, gesticulating with a wild gleam in his eyes. Castiel shook his head, stepping back.  
"No. They don't deserve that. Not all of them are awful." Castiel protested. Lucifer rolled his eyes.  
"Oh, your old buddies? They left you, Castiel. There not even in Heaven anymore! They left you and went off to live lives of there own, selfish bastards they are. I only want to be with you, I only want to make you happy. Ive always loved you! You now that! Despite what you are, Ive looked past that, and saw the potential!" He exclaimed.  
Castiel hesitated, but shook his head. "No, this is wrong." He continued.  
Lucifer's face went from honest and open to angry and ruthless in 0.5 seconds.  
He lunged forward, and wrapped a hand around Castiel's neck before he could react, lifting him up. He plopped his feet down on a stone slab. Castiel's wings flared out as he struggled. Lucifer placed his other hand over Castiel's heart, and a cold raced through his body from the point.Suddenly, a painful strange sensation filled him, and lucifer moved away. But he couldn't move! It was like he'd been-  
Oh- no- he couldn't have-  
From what he would see, Lucifer was smiling smugly.  
"Oh, you look good as a statue, Castiel. Maybe I can sell you. No, it would be much better to leave you. Like everyone else. " He laughed cruelly.  
Castiel's mind screamed in denial, but he couldn't do anything, not even make a sound. Lucifer had turned…had turned him into stone.  
Lucifer laughed. "Don't worry, its breakable. Only 'True Love' can save you now, little crow." He assured him, laughing. He stepped in closer.  
"But of course- what fool would fall in love with a hunk of stone?" He mocked, then spun about.  
Before Castiel even had time to think, Lucifer was gone, leaving him in darkness.


	2. Broken Hearted Lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be a really short chapter but Im a busy person and I just want to keep the story rolling so

Silence burns. It burned cold, and it burned steady, and it burned slow. It wound itself around Castiel's mind and soul and Grace, till he would have sold it all just for a whisper. His only company in the dark of his stone prison, surrounding his other stone prison, was the drip of water and his own thoughts. He used to think he was used to being alone, up in Heaven. Shoved to the side, rejected and shunned. Taunted for the color of his wings, blamed and hated for God's disappearance. Abandoned by Gabriel and the others, the only people who had even been truly kind to him. But if he had known then what alone truly meant, he would have kissed his families feet for every glare, every shove, every fist, and have been grateful. He would take a century of Rapheal's hate filled sneer's over this….oblivion.  
The more time that passed, Castiel began to think that his agony, his despair couldn't grow anymore. Yet every second of solitude, it did. Till it threatened to crush him. He wished it would, sometimes.   
Other times, he distracted himself watching the plants grow under the meager glowing moss light, and the tiny insects buzz about. He only knew day from night by the strange phantom feeling in his numb stone body, every (what he assumed was) night. It began to intrigue him, and one time he gathered up his Grace and concentrated. After what seemed like hours of exertion, his index finger curled into a crooked position. This small victory filled him with uncontainable glee.   
But it was short lived. After what seemed to be years of trying, he knew it was useless. He could only do it at night, and it took way to much effort to even move a millimeter. It was hopeless.   
He gave up to utter despair, and let go. At that point, his mind, soul and grace curled in on itself, and he drifted into a dreamlike state. He dreamt of breaking skies and shattering stones and little flowers from the mountains. He dreamed of a laughing Gabriel, Anna rolling her eyes, he dreamt of Balthazar trying to teach a fledgling Samandriel and him to fly. He dreamt of laughing, chasing Ezekial across their bright green field under the purple tree's. He dreamt of waiting under those purple tree's, every day, until he realized nobody was coming anymore. He dreamt of blood stains on a little girls dress, and Lucifer's mocking laughs ringing through the cavern as Castiel tried to scream with a frozen throat. He dreamt of a lot of things. He sank so deep into himself he wasn't even roused by the cavern being flooded every year at melting time, or the glow moss creeping to cover the entire cavern ceiling and lighting it up.  
He dreamt of voices coming from the entrance of the cavern. Of multiple figures with torches, breaching the silence.   
It took him a minute to realize- he wasn't dreaming anymore


	3. Almost Like Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Castiel had a heart that could beat, it would be beating out of his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Pinch me  
> Is this real  
> This feeling of release  
> I’m floating in your heaven  
> In the corners of my dreams"
> 
>  
> 
> \- 'Waking Dream', By Natalie Walker

People? Here? Had Lucifer sent them to finish him off? Raphael to find him? No, that was unlikely. Maybe they were just here by happenstance.   
It felt like he was had drowning for years, and their voices were waking him up, and he clawed his way back to the surface. Awareness hummed through his soul, his Grace casting forth beyond his stone prison to sense his surroundings. He focused his outward vision towards the entrance. If he had eyes to weep, he would. Standing there, were a group of people, holding packs and torches and looking around apprehensively.  
"…..I don't know, do you think it's dangerous?" A younger boy with messy black hair was asking, glancing at the ceiling as if he expected it to fall down atop him. An impossibly tall man with broad shoulders and brown hair so long it curled up at his neck shook his head.  
"This whole cave system was ounce a fairy den, the walls are brimming with pixie dust, they'll never collapse." He stated knowingly, as if he'd swallowed an encyclopedia about the fairy folk. An older woman with dirty blonde hair and lips pulled tight shrugged.   
"Looks like as good a place as any." She muttered. The young man in front of the rest of them whirled around, with bright excited green eyes.   
"Are you kidding! This is epic! Forever clean water, no risk of collapse, light, an open airway and food nearby? Easily defendable? This is perfect." He exclaimed. An older man nodded.  
"Dean's right. Let's start exploring, make sure there's no nasty surprises waiting." He said, setting down his pack. They spread out, cautiously looking around. Castiel drank in every word, every facial expression, every movement. Dean, the freckled one was called. He chanted the name in his mind, loving the way it echoed in his head, finally new things to think about.  
"This is amazing! An entire civilization of fairies lived here." The large one exclaimed, inspecting the worn out stone structures, most of which either came to his knees or towered above him, eroded and overgrown with plants. Dean rolled his eyes.   
"Real cool, Sammy. The real question is, did they leave any curses or things of value?" He asked, poking through the underbrush.  
Sam ignored him, moving along the stone structures, fascinated. Soon, his eyes befell Castiel, and exhilaration filled the angel-turned-stone. He hadn't been looked at for so long. Sam's inquisitive eyes studied him in a mixture of wonder and curiosity.   
"Come look a this. Everything else is worn out and stuff, but this is pristine. But from the dirt coalescence- this must be over a hundred years old!"  
He exclaimed, gesturing Dean over.  
Dean pointed to the slab under Castiel's feet.  
"What does that say?" He asked. Sam crouched down and read the inscription.   
"It's old angelic runes! I haven't seen these actually put to use outside literature…ever! And if I'm right, they spell out…Cat? No, one sec….. 'Castiel: The Loveless'." He reported.   
Dean frowned. "What's that supposed to mean? It's just a statue, c'mon." He clapped Sam on the shoulder to follow him away, but the large man stayed put scrutinizing Castiel.   
"But it isn't weathered at all, like the rest of the colony. It must be hundreds of years old- but it looks like it was carved yesterday! And the detail- I've never seen anything like it, Dean. I'm just saying, its really interesting." He exclaimed.  
Dean shrugged. "Well, we have time for that later. Let's go get set up."  
The bowlegged man led his brother away, and Castiel felt like he was going to explode with joy at the feeling of being looked at, thought about, anything.  
It had been so long, he'd almost forgotten what it felt like.  
\--------------  
Castiel quickly learned all their names. Sam, Dean, Ellen, Bobby, Jo, Kevin, Garth, Dorothy, Charlie. Friends, family, all of the above. His next task was deducing their relationships. Sam and Dean were brothers, of course, and Ellen was Jo's mother. Bobby seemed to be a very fatherly figure to them all, especially Dean and Sam. Dorothy and Charlie appeared to be a couple, and Garth was obviously smitten with the one called Jo, though he couldn't yet tell if she felt the same. She seemed a very bold card, and he was a bit goofy. Then again, Castiel knew nothing of love himself, only things he'd read and humans he watched from Heaven's eyes. Kevin seemed a bit of a loner, like the little brother of the whole group. Ellen was particularly motherly to him, probably because of his age. He and Sam had their intellect in common, and spent most of their spare time so far studying the fairy structures together, and Sam always came back to Castiel's statute, fascinated. Kevin speculated at one point that it could be magic, and Castiel's heart jumped. Maybe, just maybe, they would figure out he was a person, cursed? But he quickly shoved the thought away. It wasn't like there was anything they could do anyway. No one could help him. After all, just as Lucifer said, who would ever love a stone?

They built a rather nice large fire pit out of stones, and had a steady fire going in no time, right in front of Castiel actually. He did have a little bit of a clearing around him, right next to the pond of clear water. He was glad of this- he wouldn't have to strain himself to see and hear what they were doing. Part of him felt bad for just sitting there spying on them, but he'd been so starved of any simulation he didn't care. It wasn't like he could really do anything about it. They unpacked everything, everyone with their individual sleeping mats and such. They had a chest they hauled down from the surface, full of pans and weapons and books and anything else, along with all their own personal items of course.   
They settled in for the night, Dean and Sam and Bobby closest to him.  
\--------   
Castiel soon came to adore the humans, the more he watched. Statistically, he knew not all humans could be so good hearted, loyal, funny, and loving to each other. They were a family. A real family, the way it should be. Something Castiel had never known, even back with Gabriel and Balthazar. He had been the odd man out, even then. And his heart ached to be a part of it. If only.  
Sometimes, he would get caught up in watching them, in their conversations and daily goings about, he would forget. He would go to laugh, and not a sound would escape his stone prison. And then his spirits would plummet straight back down. It was almost torture, being able to watch these wonderful people, everything he had ever wanted, and they never even know he existed. It was a new sort of misery, an aching that lit his soul on fire almost.  
But it was a wonderful way to burn, he had to admit. He would rather this then mind numbing solitude.   
Pick your poison, isn't that how the saying goes? 

 

Castiel noticed something, after a while. About the one called Dean. He was funny, and light hearted in his actions, but he was different when no one was looking. He looked…haunted, weary, tormented. It bothered Castiel. Why was he so sad, when he had so much to be happy for? Perhaps there was something missing. His heart ached for Dean. He was so good, from what Castiel could see, he didn't deserve such pain. He only let it slip through when no one was looking.  
Well, almost no one.  
It was just another night like another, all beside Kevin had come back from a run to town with supplies. Among them, was alcohol.  
Everyone had gone to sleep, and Castiel watched Dean silently rise from his blankets and tiptoe to the spirits, taking a bottle and tucking it under his arm as he wandered away form camp. He took a swig every step, looking around with half interested eyes.   
Until they came to rest upon Castiel. He shrugged, and climbed up the pedestal to sit atop it, leaning against Castiel's stone legs. He could feel it, but only barely. Like a brush of a feather through layers of cloth. But it was his first physical contact in forever, and Castiel cherished it.   
Dean continued to drink, before he began to speak.   
"I shouldn't be this upset. We are all safe, and happy, and together. But thats the point. It's not all of us. Dad, Mom, Ash, Pamela, so many others. I've watched them die. I should have saved them! I've saved so many others, why couldn't I save them? Whats the point of wandering the countryside in search of people that need help, if you can't even help those right next to you?" He exclaimed, kicking his foot. Castiel felt his heart twist. He wished desperately, he could say something, do something, anything to comfort him. But there was, alas, only one thing he was capable of doing.  
Listen. He focused his Grace, something he hadn't done in forever, and tried to broadcast his emotions, just ones of understanding and comfort. Dean seemed to relax a bit, and leaned back against him completely.  
"Sam says I'm blaming myself for things I can't change. He says to talk about it, move past it, but how can I? I just can't stand to talk to them about it, about how much I hate myself sometimes. They don't deserve that burden. So here I am, talking to a statue." Dean snorted, rolling his head. After a moment, he paused thoughtfully.   
"Although, it does seem to be….helping. I guess, in a way. Maybe I should make a habit of this." He pondered aloud. Castiel's heart soared. He would love that! Love to be leaned against, talked to, even if Dean didn't realize he was really listening.   
Dean continued to talk for a while, pouring out his heart to a hunk of stone.   
And that hunk of stone just drank it all in, occasionally sending out waves of emotion to comfort and calm the human. And low and behold, Dean ended up falling asleep against his leg. Worried Dean would fall off in his slumber, he focused his Grace and slowly managed to move his other leg forward a little, to allowed a barrier between Dean and the edge, cradling him. It took what must have been an hour, but he did it nonetheless

 

Dean soon came to perch next to him often, spewing on about everything and everything. And Castiel loved every minute of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> terribly sorry this took so long!  
> \----------------------------  
> everyone should follow me at falling-in-love-with-fandoms.tumblr.com  
> \-------------------  
> comments make me write better and faster!


	4. Stranger (I've Known You For So Long)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel would give everything to save them, because they are everything to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Broken pieces of  
> A barely breathing story  
> Where there once was love  
> Now there's only me and the lonely.  
>  \- The Lonely, Christina Perry

It was just like any other night, when it happened. The group had been gone on a ghost hunt all day. They were all exhausted and a little bruised up, but otherwise fine. And, per usual, Dean came to curl in his usual perch, and went on about the day, and how he had almost felt sorry for the ghost. But you know how vengeful spirits go. Which Castiel did. He was very informed on supernatural matters, having nothing better to do then teach himself things during his isolation in Heaven. Castiel, per usual, and sent out waves of comfort. Dean had fallen asleep with a smile on his face.  
Castiel was content, watching Dean toss in his sleep when a horrible realization struck him.  
The yearly flood was soon, he could tell from the way the water level of the pond was steadily rising. If he had a heart to beat, it would be faltering. If they were still here when it flooded, they would surely die. But how was he supposed to warn them, he had no way- oh! He did have a way! He hadn't done this in years, but he concentrated and drew his grace from deep within him, and set to work. It was easier, with a soul as bright as Dean Winchesters next to him. It was always easier around Dean.  
\---------  
The morning was just starting, and everyone was waking groggily and setting to work making breakfast. Dean climbed off the pedestal on his way to pee- and froze.   
"SAM!" he shouted, drawing his brother and the others over. They had noticed Dean's sleeping habits, and thus far had only teased him about how bad it must be for his back. As they approached, he never took his eyes off the statue, and they soon saw what he did, and Sam went pale.  
The statue had moved. It's arm was raised and straightened, pointing down to the slab at its feet. On top of the slab, a few feet from were Dean had sat, in thin scratched lettering, was the following:  
danger   
big flood soon  
get out or drown  
please   
save yourselves

 

There was silence, soon broken by Kevin.  
"I knew it was magic." He breathed.  
Dean threw up his hands. "What the hell kind of magic? How are we supposed to trust a statue?" He exclaimed. Sam frowned, looking up at the ceiling.  
"Actually, the mountain is riddled with glaciers, and with the rising temperatures, there's sure to be lots of melt off. From the way I understand this cave network- it would fill up this whole place. I didn't even think about it. He's right."  
"He? It's just an enchanted statue. We don't even know what magic its been enchanted with." Ellen huffed. Kevin squinted, drawing closer.  
"Actually…I don't think it is. This detail, its age, non weathering…..moving, of all things….I think, well, this might not be a statue at all. I mean, it wasn't always a statue. I think it was an person, maybe even an angel from the winds, once. And I think its still in there, trapped in a stone body." He whispered.  
There was a head silence, as everyone turned to stare up at the statue.   
"So, your saying, its been watching us? Listening?" Dean said slowly, his gut twisting with the knowledge of everything he had confided in what he thought was a hunk of stone, was actually being heard.  
Sam nodded. "But I don't think its hostile. I mean, look at the message. It's worried about us, it wants us to stay alive. We must be the first people he's seen and heard from in hundreds of years." Sam breathed. Bobby whistled, and Garth grimaced.   
"Poor guy, I can't imagine staying sane like that." He whispered, There were nods.   
"Well, we better pack up and get out of here before this alleged flood hits us. Come on, everyone get busy." Bobby announced.   
Soon, everything had been hauled to the surface, and the group of humans were ready to go. They headed towards the entrance. Kevin raised a hand, and they all paused. Turning back, he waved at the statue. Everyone else quickly took his lead, waving before they turned and began to head towards the light. Dean paused, glancing back one more time, before following.  
And then, Castiel was alone again.  
His statue body was completely intact.   
But he had never felt so broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes that was a short chapter sorry


	5. Communication.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new hope fills every heart.

The water came swiftly, just like every year, till it filled the cavern to the brim. The cracks in the fairy imbrewed rocks allowed the air to escape, so that all that was left was water, rushing and pulling and pushing and ripping, suffocating Castiel's outward cast senses, forcing him to draw himself back in, curl back into the tiny ball of Grace and mind and soul and sentience, tucked away somewhere in his stone body.   
His own thoughts tormented him, worse then ever before. It is one thing to be starved your entire life, but it is another to have a glimpse of food, a glimpse of wonder, and then be shoved back into the empty darkness. 

All these years of agonizing solitude prior to the arrival of the humans, Castiel had longed for the surface world, its wonders abounding. But then they had come, and he had forgotten all about it almost. He saw fields of golden wheat in Jo's hair. He saw the glee of bouncing baby animals in Kevin, the wisdom of the humble earth in Bobby's steady hands. He saw constellations in the freckles of Dean's skin, spanning across the night sky of his cheeks and collarbones. He saw canopies of fresh lively leaves in his eyes. He saw the bark of old oak trees in Sam's hair. He saw forest fires in Charlie's. He saw dusty dirt roads that spoke of adventure in Dorothy's skin. He heard sunshine in Garth's laugh. He envisioned a warm hearth of a comfy home when Ellen hummed. He felt almost as if a cleansing rain was washing away his misery every time Dean whispered to him in the night. But now he was being pounded by dirty water, cold and suffocating. Just as his stone body was drowning in water, his soul was drowning in misery. They were gone. He felt like he'd been gutted. The last time he had felt like this was when Gabriel, Balthazar, Anna and the others had never come back for him like they promised. And yet somehow, this felt even worse. As the water rose higher, Castiel began to lose control of something inside him, it felt like his agony was becoming something tangible, a roiling storm inside him, a building pressure. His Grace screamed out, a sonic wave through the water, and he felt like everything was crumbling around him.

\----------------------------

The group camped out in the woods for a few days, and the only trouble they really ran into was a bunch of cocky bandits, but they fended them off easily.  
Dean was andy. Sleeping under the open sky was nice and all, but they all agreed that they missed home. Which is what it was. A small walk to the surface, bountiful plants and light from the beautiful glow moss, shelter, warmth, clean water, family. Castiel's figure standing over them like a guardian.  
Dean had mixed feelings about the statue guy, or whatever he was. He had confided his soul in it. But now he knew that he was being heard, possibly judged by someone he didn't even know. But then again, something about the statue had always made him feel safe, comfortable, like it's emotions were leaking out of it's stone skin. Which was crazy. Or maybe not. He was talking about a cursed angel statue here, after all. He'd never really believed in angels. His mother had always tucked him in and told him angels were watching over him. But when she died, he had realized it was a lie. Angels, if they existed, surely wouldn't have let that happen.  
But now, maybe it wasn't so insane. He didn't know. All he knew was that he had to get back home, and have a conversation with that statue. Hopefully not such a one sided one this time.  
Finally, the day came when Sam decided the floods had probably receded by now, and they packed up and headed back.

 

Dean felt his shoulders sag in relief the minute they entered the tunnel. The cavern was drained of water, even if a little muddy and dank. But that would clear up. They set down their things and all turned towards the statue- and froze.   
"What happened! Did the flood hurt him?" Kevin exclaimed.  
Castiel had once stood straight and tall with his wings flared out and a surprised expression on his face, but now he was on his knees, wings curled in on himself, arms wrapped around his torso, face upturned towards the ceiling and mouth open in what seemed like a silent cry of anguish. If you looked closely, you could even see little stone bumps- tears.  
They came closer, everyone muttering in concern. Dean scrutinized the expression on his face, the way he was curled up and clung to himself.  
"No. He….he must have thought we weren't coming back. That we left for good, and he was all alone again." He realized breathlessly. Charlie made a whimpering sound and turned her head into Dorothy's shoulder.   
Dean laid a warm hand on the angel's shoulder, and did the best to look him in his white marbled eyes.  
"We aren't leaving, buddy. Were gonna figure out a way to get you out of this." He assured the statue. It did not reply. After a few moments, they started setting up camp and rebuilding the fire pit. By the time they were done, it was dark outside. Dean stood and wiped sweat from his brow- and froze. The statue had moved again, cross-legged now, with wings flared out in happiness, one hand resting on his thigh and the other raised in a sort of wave to them, his face a mask of glee. It looked almost childish. For some reason, it made Dean's heart warm and fuzzy. He wasn't really a warm and fuzzy kind of guy. Strange.   
"Guys, look!" He called, pointing. Ellen yelped in surprise, and they walked to the statue.  
"Maybe it can only move when we aren't looking?" Sam guessed. But then, the statue's index finger slowly wagged from side to side. It was strange and kind of eerie to watch.  
"Oh, so that's a no….maybe only at night?" He guessed again. It took a few moments, but the angel raised a thumbs up. They nodded at the revelation.   
Kevin frowned thoughtfully. "Um, Castiel, here, how about we ask questions, and can you do that engraving thing on the stone pillar next to you, like you warned us with? Does that take less time or…." He inquired. A flash of white light emitted from the pillar in question, and when it faded they read the engraving.   
/Yes, this is easier. It's easier to effect things around me with my power then my own body. It's also easier when you are standing near me. Human souls emit mass amounts of power I can tap into. It's not harmful, of course. I'm so happy you came back./  
Ellen chuckled, and Dean grinned.   
Sam rubbed his hands together.   
"So, is Castiel really your name?" He asked.  
A flash of light.  
/Yes./   
"Were you an angel, before you were turned to..this?"   
/Yes. I still am, I am just stone now./  
They glanced at each other. Confirmation that angels really had existed was huge.  
"How did you get like this?"Sam inquired. There was a pause before the light.  
/That is a long story. It will take a minute longer to write, hold on./  
"Alright. Thank you." They waited for what seemed like two awkward minutes, before the light faded again.  
/300 years ago, God abandoned us. Very few humans have been informed of this. I was the last angel he created before he disappeared. I was created with black wings, like a crow, unlike all my kin. They said that God had made a mistake making a freak like me, and was so appalled he couldn't stand it and left. And so, I was ostracized from my brothers and sisters, not allowed to travel to earth. I learned how to fight and fly and such, but by my older brothers Balthazar and Gabriel, along with Anna and Samandriel. They tolerated me unlike any of the others, allowed me to sit in on lessons and participate in their games. But even they hated me, for what I was. Eventually, they left me to. Then came Lucifer. He was strange, he would bring me my favorite flowers and tell me about all his dreams of order in Heaven, and would touch me strangely, but I was so desperate for attention, I let him. I was naive. I did not love him, I hated his words and his touches, but he was so kind to me, most of the time. Sometimes he would get angry and hit me, but I didn't mind, as long as he didn't leave me alone. But, eventually, he stopped coming. A sting of human murders, with evidence having been done by an angel became known to us. I begged Raphael, my commanding officer, to let me go down to earth to investigate. He let me, hoping I would be killed as well. It was Lucifer, and I tracked him to this cavern, 150 years ago, and begged him to stop and come back for trail in Heaven. He refused, and begged me to join him in his dream to get revenge on our brothers for the wrongs they did to us both. I refused. So, he turned me to stone. He just laughed when he'd finished, and told me that only True Love can break my curse. Unfortunately, no fool would ever fall in love with a stone, and even if so, no fool would ever love me. No one has ever loved me. I have been alone ever since, until you came. I'm sorry if you believed me to be spying. I was scared if I alerted you to my presence you would leave./

There was shocked silence among them. Dean felt his heart twist and ache for his stone friend.   
Sam finally cleared his throat.   
"I'm very sorry, it seems you've alway gotten the short end of the stick. But I'm sure there must be some other way to break the curse, magic is fickle like that. We won't stop looking, I promise. Right, guys?" He called back. Everyone agreed.  
More stone tears appeared, but Castiel's marble face was smiling.


	6. Kisses Like Fire (Heart Turned To Ash)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's tragic the lengths people will go to feel like they belong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You want him, you need him  
> It's so hard to please him  
> You just don't dare  
> And inside you're burning  
> With some secret yearning  
> You must not care (still won't you)  
> Help me, I'm flawed, desperate  
> Angry with God  
> 'cause he just won't care  
> Oh excuse me, you're mourning  
> How calloused and boring  
> I brush your hair  
> And see your face... empty smile...  
> I touch that place, and all the while...  
> (you know it won't stop)  
> \- Hurt, The Abuse Of SID

The following days were the best of Castiel's life.  
It was the nights that were the problem. Dean hadn't come to him at all since their return. It worried Castiel.  
He carved a message into the stone next to the place Dean usually relieved himself.  
/are you angry with me?/  
It didn't take long into the night for Dean to get up grumbling, relief himself, and squak at the sight of the message. He pursed his lips, pulled up his trousers and sighed, heading back and crossing his arms as he stood in front of the statue.  
"Yeah, leave notes next to a pissing spot, real romantic. Well, I didn't……you were listening the whole damn time, weren't you?" He exclaimed.  
/Yes./ inscribed itself.  
Dean pursed his lips.  
/I'm sorry if you think I've betrayed some sort of trust. You think you do not deserve the life you have been given. You are wrong, from what you told me. And from what I watch, every day. The good you do and the love you share with your friends and family greatly outweighs whatever responsibility you feel for the mistakes of the past. But then again, what would I know about the affairs of the heart?/ The letters etched themselves.  
Dean sighed, shoulders sagging. Kindness always hit him the hardest.  
"I always felt better, almost strangely so, after talking to you. Anything to do with your magical angel powers?" He questioned.  
/I am able to broadcast my emotions. I only wished to comfort you./  
Dean blinked. "So that was….you? Thats a bit weird but…thank you. Really, thank you."  
If only Castiel could smile as easily as he could feel happiness.  
Instead, he sent out a wave of that sensation, of happiness, trying to show Dean how pleased and content he was that the Winchester wasn't mad at him.  
Dean stumbled back a little, eyes going wide, and grinned.  
"Thats pretty cool. Hey, couldn't you just do that with thoughts?" Dean wondered.  
Castiel considered this. It was worth a try.  
/Can you hear that?/ He thought, trying to broadcast it the same way he did emotions.  
Dean stood there for a moment. Nothing happened.  
/I guess not./ He inscribed in the stone.  
Dean shrugged.  
"Maybe not thoughts…what about images? Memories? Our friend Andy could put images in peoples heads." Dean suggested.  
Castiel considered that as well, trying to pick out a memory he could envision strong enough to broadcast to the human. He still sensed Dean regretted revealing so much of himself to Castiel unknowingly. Perhaps he should even the odds.  
Dea gasped, stumbling a little.

 

 _A little boy, who couldn't have been older then 12 in human years, with black wings and bright blue eyes sat under a tree in an empty field of flowers, sky clear and shining. Everything around him glowed in an otherworldly way. The little angel had his head in his knee's, arms wrapped around himself, looking absolutely miserable. He looked like he'd been sitting there for a while, maybe even crying, but he was all out of tears by now. Finally, another angel approached. But from the look on the black winged angel's face, it wasn't whoever he had been hoping for. The girl angel was older, with hair drawn back in a bun and hard eyes._  
 _"Castiel, this is nonsense. I told you they would grow sick of you eventually. Accept your own worthlessness and return to your studies. Perhaps someday you will be a good soldier, and then you will be worth something. But until then, you are worth nothing, no matter what that heathen Gabriel tells you. He is gone, and so are the others. They have lives to live, they have no time for indulging a little vermin in games anymore just because they feel a sliver of pity for your miserable existence." She hissed, acid in her cold voice. The little angel burst into tears under the onslaught of her words. Dean could feel the agony ripping through his heart, the misery, the hatred. Hatred of her, of those who abandoned him, of God for making him like this, of himself most of all. He set off running into the tree's. The older angel girl just huffed in disgust and disappeared. Castiel use kept running and running into the woods of this little slice of heaven, tears streaming down his face, a roiling storm of emotions bubbling up in him. Finally, he collapsed in exhaustion. He sobbed into the dirt, shaking with the force of the pain that was slashing through his very soul in waves. Dean could feel it, and he felt his heart breaking over and over with the little angel._  
 _"Why are you crying, little crow?" A silky smooth voice like honey and oil whispered. Another angel had appeared. A young man, with brilliant white wings and strikingly handsome features, almost alien in his beauty. Young Castiel looked up, startled by how kind the words were. His face was red from crying and puffy, covered in snot. He wiped it away with his sleeve hurriedly, and went to avert his eyes in the presence of another angel. But the older angel leant down, using his long delicate fingers to draw up Castiel's chin, looking him in the eye. There was kindness in his eyes the likes of which Castiel had never seen directed at him. But there was something else, something that scared him, but the boy was so desperate to cling to that kindness he disregarded it. Dean could sense it- a darkness, almost like a sickly smell surrounding the older angel that not even a bath in honey could disguise completely. The older angel helped Castiel up and brushed him off._  
 _"Who made you so unhappy?" He asked._  
 _"God." Castiel replied bitterly. He flinched back, expecting to be beaten for such blasphemy._  
  
 _"Thats something we have in common. My name is Lucifer. I doubt you've heard of me, the other angels and I don't get along that much. They are jealous of me. Ironic, considering the reason I was exiled was for being jealous of my older brother. But thats a long story. Why don't we get you fixed up, and get something to eat?" Lucifer suggested, voice soft and wistful._  
 _Castiel hesitated, before nodding. Lucifer took his hand, and they walked peacefully through the forest together, shadows and light dancing in harmony among the trees. They were in a different part of Heaven then the field and forest that Castiel and his old friends had always played, different from the barracks of Rapheal's garrison._  
 _"I built this part of Heaven myself, to be away from the others. In truth, they did not exile me as much as I could not stand their abuse and hatred anymore. I suppose you know all about how that feels, don't you?" He asked. Castiel hung his head._  
 _"It is only what I deserve. God left because of me." He sighed._  
 _Lucifer nodded. "True. But as worthless as you started out, I see potential in you." He replied._  
 _Dean could feel Castiel's stomach flip in dread. "As a soldier?" He sighed._  
 _But to his surprise, Lucifer shook his head and smiled down at the young angel._  
 _"No, Castiel. As a leader. A dreamer. A world changer. A builder of a new age. An age of equality amongst angels again. Of loyalty. That is my dream. And I think you'll play a wonderful part in it." He mused._  
 _Castiel's heart lept. He'd never been told he could be a part of such great things. Some of his new friend's words seemed to echo strangely off the trees, and tasted bitter on his tongue when he repeated them, which Lucifer made him do over and over the whole walk to his small cozy cabin. But the way Lucifer looked at him and talked to him, as if he were not just a nuisance and a burden, but maybe something worthwhile, was s sweet he didn't care._  
\-----  
 _Castiel could not stay at Lucifer's cabin all the time, unfortunately. Rapheal made him study and train 2 days out of a human week, but luckily he could not stand his presence longer then that. After he was done, he would race along the hidden paths Lucifer had showed him and knock three times on his door._  
 _Lucifer began to ask for things in exchange for a nice place to stay and food and kindness. He asked Castiel to read and translate passages out of strange books, to cook for him and clean, to retrace the wards around the cabin once every 3 days, not to tell a soul about any of it. Lucifer wasn't always there, but he wasn't ever gone for long. He always brought back little blue flowers from earth, called forget-me-nots. He said they reminded him of Castiel's eyes._  
 _As Castiel got older, Lucifer taught him more about the injustice of Heaven's system, of God's absence, and how corrupt the other angels had become. Castiel listened, but at heart he could never bring himself to believe it all. Sure, some of the other's hurt him or were cruel to him, but most just avoided and ignored him. But he was always happy to listen to Lucifer, because Lucifer talked to him like he meant something._  
 _As he grew older, Lucifer began to ask for something else. It scared Castiel, and he tried to refuse, but then Lucifer threatened him with leaving him alone. The thought of being abandoned again horrified Castiel even more, and he did everything Lucifer wanted him to. Dean could feel how much it hurt, how scary it was, how dirty and wrong it felt. He watched Castiel cry himself to sleep afterward. And then he watched him do it again and again. Castiel's heart broke more and more, in a new way. But the thought of being left alone again hurt even more._  
 _But then, one day, he ran up and knocked three times._  
 _And their was no answer. The cabin was empty. It remained empty, every day he went back to look until eventually he couldn't stand it anymore._  
 _After that, he kind of lost the will to feel anything but a numb constant misery. He trained and trained and studied with Raphael. The last vase of forget-me-nots Lucifer had brought him eventually dropped and dried up. He could still feel him, touching him and making him sob while Lucifer took his pleasure. But now he knew it had all been for nothing, Lucifer had left anyway, and every once of any sort of happiness left his soiled body._  
\-------------  
Dean gasped, eyes snapping open as the memories faded. He was on all fours, crying. He stared up at the statue.  
"Th-that was your memories? That really happened- they- you- he- oh god, man. I…." He gasped.  
/I'm sorry if I burdened you. I merely wanted to entrust the same thing you did to me./ The words scrawled out. The statues expression had morphed into one of concern.  
Dean let out a long breath of air, looking at his stone friend under new light.  
"Your not worthless. It's not your fault that God ditched everything. I'm so sorry you were so alone that…..that douche could take advantage of you like that. You didn't deserve any of it." Dean breathed.  
Castiel felt his whole being ring with those words. Sure, Lucifer had told him he had potential despite his worthlessness, but no one had ever told him that he wasn't worthless. It blindsided him.  
Stone tears appeared, and Dean's heart went out to the angel.  
He hesitated, before he climbed up onto the pedestal and leaned against the angels legs.  
Castiel's spirits immediately skyrocketed. The touch was still distant and hard to focus on, but it still brought comfort. Not to mention, the relief that Dean trusted him again.  
Dean talked more about the death's of his parents, and Castiel showed him more memories, these earlier, of Gabriel, Anna, Ezekiel and Samandriel.  
Dean talked about the time Sam got stuck in his own rope trap and Dean had laughed at him for days.  
Dean fell asleep leaning against him, wrapped in love and warm contentness that Castiel broadcasted.  
"Night, Cas." He murmured.  
Castiel decided he liked that nickname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah yes, more of Castiel's tragic past  
> guys  
> guys  
> draw fanart of this  
> iT DOESEN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE SUPER GOOD I JUST REALLY LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE DRAW THINGS


	7. Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's amazing how much fixing broken people know how to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
> And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
> 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
> And I don't feel right when you're gone away
> 
> The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
> I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
> There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
> I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
> -  
> Seether, Broken.

\--------------  
Weeks went by, and the humans went about their lives, but this time they included Castiel as much as they could. He broadcasted emotions and a few select memories when needed. He did not tell them more than they needed to know about the time he spent with Lucifer. He found himself growing ashamed of how foolish he had been, how young and desperate and stupid. He felt dirty, in comparison to the wonder of these humans. They were smart, and kind, and loved each other. Dean told him he was worth something. He had yet to believe him. How could he be worth anything, born cursed as he was? Even if he was not responsible for God leaving, he had never accomplished anything other then being a sex toy and maid to Lucifer, and a burden to his other brother and sisters. Even in his pursuit to stop Lucifer from his bloodbath of a crusade, he had failed.  
Sam and Kevin threw themselves into their research on how to enfranchise Castiel from his stone prison. He was touched by their devotion.  
Dean and Him grew closer. Well, as close as an angelic statue and an alcoholic human could get platonically.  
Dean couldn't sleep against his legs every night without hurting himself obviously, so he set up his bed mat right next to the pedesta  
One night, Dean was suffering from what must have been a horrible nightmare. He tossed and turned and whimpered in his sleep. Castiel hated seeing his friend in such turmoil. Desperate, he broadcasted love and peace in Dean's direction. It quoted his whimpers, but he still tossed and turned. He was too deep into the nightmare for Castiel to reach him form the waking world.  
And idea sprang to his mind. It was insane and a little morally grey, but he was desperate to ease Dean's suffering.  
\-----------  
 _Dean was running through dark dead woods, breath coming in hitched gasps, looking around wildly. Voices called him from all directions. His mother, Pamela, Andy, Sarah, his father, Becky- all screaming and pleading for him to come, to save them from some unknown dread that radiated in all directions. The care tree's bent and twisted, reaching for him, wood twigs forming into sharp cold icy hands, gripping at him from all sides and ripping. He struggled, screaming, trying to get away, he had to save them!_  
 _Then another hand laid itself on his shoulder, not cold and biting, but warm and gentle. He turned, and the dark forest disappeared. He was standing, unscathed, in a peaceful meadow next to a stream, the tree's alive and green as they swayed in a fragrant breeze. Everything was glowing gold in warm sunlight, not a shadow around to be feared. A man with blue eyes, and large blah wings in warriors gear was standing in front of him with a hand on his shoulder, ethereal features etched in concern._  
 _Dean blinked. There were no more voices, no more dread, panic, guilt, fear, blood. The air around him seemed embed with peace and safety._  
 _"Castiel?" He asked in bewilderment. The man smiled nervously._  
 _"Hello Dean." He greeted. His voice was like honey seeping over gravel, and it sent a shiver down Dean's spine._  
 _"I've never dreamt about you before." Dean stated, upon realizing this was a dream._  
 _"I'm not a dream. Everything around us is, but I am me. You were in great distress, I panicked and…" His words wandered away from him, as if he were ashamed of his actions. Dean's eyes widened._  
 _"You entered my dream? Dude, that is really cool and kinda creepy. Well, I guess it isn't that creepy, you did it for a good reason." Dean added._  
Castiel seemed to sag in relief that the Winchester wasn't angered with him.  
 _"I will not do it again, if you wish." He offered._  
 _Dean considered this. He realized he hadn't had a particularly dirty dream in quite a while. So he shouldn't have anything overly embarrassing to worry about._  
 _"Nah, come on in any time. Do you dream?" Dean asked._  
 _Castiel looked down at his dream-body. He couldn't really feel it completely, but he could feel it more then his stone body. It was refreshing._  
 _"No, not since my curse. I think part of it is that I must always be awake to suffer it. I do sort of shut out the world sometimes and let my mind drift in itself, but it is not the same. I find I have missed it. Well, I miss the good dreams. I used to have nightmares to, you know. Of the things Lucifer did to me, of being alone, of God coming back and screaming at me for still being alive." Castiel sighed, averting his gaze. Dean frowned, and stepped closer, lifting up his chin. Those blue eyes sent shivers down his spine even worse then his voice._  
 _"Hey, listen to me. God leaving? Totally not because of you. It was because he's some giant celestial douchenozzle who thinks he doesn't have to answer for his mistakes." Dean told him. Castiel flinched at the last word, and Dean cursed himself._  
 _"No, no! That's not what I meant. I meant leaving in general was a mistake. You are not a mistake." Dean exclaimed quickly. Castiel blinked at him. The kind words were so new to his battered, abused ears. His eyes went a little hazy, and he found himself leaning into the hand on his chin. Dean went a little red, and Castiel immediately pulled back._  
 _"I apologize, I am just unused to the sensation of being touched after so long. I suppose I am also unused to being touched so kindly. In Heaven, the only touches I got were being shoved out of the way or smacked upon occasion, or Lucifer…….." He glanced down, shaking his head. "I was so stupid. I let him use me like I was nothing, just for the sake of living the lie that I meant something." He spat bitterly, turning away from Dean. He could not stand to look at him, he did not deserve such kind touches, fond looks, as if he were Dean's equal. He was not._  
 _Dean sighed._  
 _"He lied to you, and manipulated you, and threatened you with your greatest fear. That doesn't make you stupid. It makes you a sentient being with fears and faults and hopes and dreams." Dean offered._  
 _"It makes me a child, a child who had never known what love felt like, to the point were even hate tasted sweet. As sweet as your own blood can taste, I should say. What sort of fool accepts such abuse, begs for it?" He exclaimed, angrily. He balled his fists._  
 _"The kind that's been brainwashed into thinking he deserves it, when he doesn't." Dean replied softly._  
 _"How do you know that? You say I do not deserve it- how can you know that?" He demanded._  
 _"Because you could have just let us drown, if it meant a few more days of not being alone. You could have listened to Lucifer, you could have joined him in his plans to murder and bring down Heaven. You could have hated your brothers and sisters for the things they did. But instead you chose to hate yourself. Because you don't have it in you to turn that hatred on anybody else, not even Lucifer. Not even God. You've been blamed by others and by yourself for everyone else's mistakes for so long, you believe you are the mistake! But your not! I'm not! We are not mistakes, we are not the mistakes we make or the ones others make! I do not deserve to die because I couldn't keep my father alive! You do not deserve to be alone because God left! We don't deserve to bear the weight of everyone else's misery!" Dean was practically screaming. He was shouting, voice desperate and breathless, as if all the truth in the universe had punched it's way out of it's throat. Castiel turned back to him, speechless with the shock of his words._  
 _Dean's eyes were full of tears and light, his shoulders thrown back and arms wide, as if all the weight of the world he had been carrying for so long had been lifted off him. Skin flushed, as if the revelation he had just announced for the both of them was burning, burning them both, the shackles they had locked themselves in for so long melting away._  
 _Neither of them said anything for the longest time. Castiel could feel it. He could feel his eyes opening to it all along._  
 _He saw Naomi, screaming at him._  
 _He saw the tears in her eyes for the first time._  
 _He saw the forget-me-nots Lucifer handed him._  
 _He saw the way he ripped them mercilessly from the earth for the first time, relishing the way they instantly lost their lifeline._  
 _He saw a little angel in a training field, crying, being yelled at by Rapheal._  
 _He saw Rapheal glancing at the boys black wings, and he did not see disgust. He saw envy._  
 _Castiel smiled at Dean, taking in a deep breath.  
 _"No truer words have ever been spoken, Dean Winchester. Perhaps Sam isn't the only genius in the family."__  
\------  
After Dean woke up, his eyes were brighter, his laughs came easier, he even seemed to breath deeper. Everyone else immediately noticed the distance, but did not complain one bit. And when Dean went to town to get supplies, he did not bring back alcohol.  
Dean and Cas met in Dean's dreams often, talking about everything under the sun. They did not mention this development in their relationship to the others. Since Dean was aware it was a dream every time Cas came, he could control it. Which led to some really crazy adventures, with absolutely none of the risk. But still, it was not the real world. But the humans worked diligently to try and find a cure to his condition.  
Dean woke from a dream were he and Cas were riding a golden horse chasing a leprechaun to Sam shaking him awake. The younger Winchester hadn't slept all night and had a half-crazed gleam in his eyes. He was holding an old dusty book.  
"Dean! Dean, I found it!" He exclaimed. Dean sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.  
"What?" He asked groggily.  
"I found the way to turn Castiel back!" He exclaimed, holding up the book.  
That got Dean to sit bolt upright. Castiel sent out a wave of alarm and excitement.  
"What? How?" Dean exclaimed.  
Soon Sam summoned all the others around the statue, jittering with excitement.  
"Ok, so, Cas here was cursed like this by Lucifer, and the only way out of it is True Love, right?" Sam asked.  
Everyone nodded.  
Sam held up the book.  
"This is the records of property owned in this region of Kanstal." He said giddily.  
Bobby frowned. "What does that have to do with the curse?" He exclaimed incredulously.  
Sam grinned knowingly.  
"Because according to this and local legend, Lucifer stuck around. There's an impenetrable tower outside one of the villages, and they say that he sends gangs of cruel warriors to collect unjust taxes and rough up the townspeople. No one's ever seen him in person, however, but it's worth a shot."  
This grabbed everyone's attention.  
"How are we supposed to confront him if he never comes out of an impenetrable tower?" Dorothy asked.  
"First things first- we talk to his thugs." Sam announced.  
Everyone agreed.  
For the first time in a long time, Castiel let himself feel hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in two days f yeah  
> BIG SHOUT OUT TO DESTICOCKLES FOR DRAWING SUCH ADORABLE FANART OF THIS FANFIC http://desticockles.tumblr.com/post/74569401253/inspired-by-this-amazing-fic-you-should


	8. The Sky Is Falling, My Love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings take their toll

The dust huffed under Dean's shoes as he, Charlie, Sam, Garth and Jo entered the village. It was a mass of wood cabin like buildings, criss crossed by dirt roads, surrounded by a moss ridden stone cobbled wall. Around it stretched green and gold fields of corn and barley. In the distance, the ominous shape of the alleged tower, like an obsidian dagger piercing the golden sky. Dean's stomach twisted at the sight. His grip on the hilt of his dagger that was perched on his belt tightened. Cas hand;t just told him about the things Lucifer did to him, he _showed_ him, Dean had felt every thrust, every sob, every scream, every promise whispered like acid across bruised skin in the haze of eternal dawn. Heaven smelt a lot like Hell from a bloodstained bed. He had never wanted to rip someone's throat out so much as he did in this moment, staring at that tower, that affront the peaceful atmosphere of this innocent village. The others around it only knew Lucifer as the one who terrorized this village from afar, a mysterious figure who had murdered a bunch of people before closing himself away from the world. To them, he might have some brokenhearted sob story, it might all be a misunderstanding, a mistake, he might be a lost misbegotten confused soul. It wouldn't be the first time. But Dean knew everything he needed to know about Lucifer. He was a monster, who hid razor blades inside little blue flowers, hid agony inside promises of companionship. 

The town was bustling, in the midst of some sort of festival. After all these years, Dean could spot an authority figure as easily as Sam in a crowd of dwarfs. A man in fitted cotton cloths lined in what looked like silk was standing on a pedestal in the square, chatting with a gruffer looking man in leather.  
Dean led the group through the crowd, till he came to stand below the wooden paneling. The gruff man stared him down immediately, eyes trying to bore into his head, emotionless and calculating. The other man turned to a women with a leather-bound notebook and whispered to her, and she ran off the pedestal and into the crowd. Only then did he acknowledge their presence. His gaze was lofty and demeaning, as if he had such better things to do but his manners revenged him from pointing that out.  
"Ah, strangers, what a lovely surprise. What can I do for you, wayfaring vagabonds?" The man asked, condescending voice twanged with some unfamiliar accent. The gruff man remained silent.  
Dean glared up at the man. "I'll keep it short and sweet. We're here about Lucifer." He replied.  
This gained an immediate reaction. The gruff man scowled. The lofty man paled and his lips drew into a thin line.  
"Why on earth would anyone come looking for him? Have you got a death wish?" The lofty man whispered heavily, climbing down from the pedestal. The gruff man merely hopped down, not loosing his balance for a second or even flinching apron landing.  
Sam stepped forward, casting a glance at Dean.  
"No, but we've got an issue we need to resolve with him." Sam replied in a placating voice.  
The lofty man snorted." Yeah, don't we all. Look, Moose, Pretty Boy and Company, run away while you can. Whatever business you have with Lucifer isn't worth getting decapitated and skinned over." The man dismissed, moving to walk past them. Dean shoved his way forward, cutting him off. The gruff man made no move to stop him. The lofty man looked disgruntled.  
"Look, whoever the fuck you are, I don't have any beef with you. But I do have a knife with Lucifer's name written on it, and i'm just itching to break it in before the grand finally. So how about you tell us everything you know or you won't have to worry about Lucifer ever again, or anything for that matter, got it?" Dean growled.  
The man sighed.  
"Name's Crowley. As for Lucifer? He's the baddest news this side of the Castuyi Ocean. Possibly baddest news period. But he doesn't show it much, just keeps to himself in his nice little fortress and sends his demons to do his dirty work when needed."  
Charlie groaned at the mention of demons. "Really? Demons? I thought they didn't come up this far north!" She complained.  
The gruff man rolled his eyes.   
"Lucifer's got his own batch, meanest of the bunch. But they don't mess us and the other surrounding towns up to bad if we give them what they want. Food, labor, fine goods? More then enough to pay for them not to torture us all and burn down this whole place." He huffed.  
Crowley ticked. "Cain here would know. He's my security officer. Deals with the demons, actually handles the transactions you know. I'm more of a linguistics fellow myself."   
Dean frowned. "Well, where do we find these demons?" He demanded.  
Cain looked him up and down. "What on earth can be so important that you'd be willing to walk into the literal lion's den for?" He asked suspiciously.  
Dean's heart stuttered, and he immediately pictured stone tears.  
He hardened his stance, staring Cain down.  
"Let's just say I have a problem only Lucifer can fix, because he started it, and he's going to fucking pay for his crimes one way or another." Dean replied.  
Cain lifted an eyebrow, studying him for a moment, as if gauging his worth.  
"This way." He finally said, with conviction as if he had just made up his mind about something. Cain moved past them with purpose. Crowley shrugged at them. Dean exchanged glances with his group before they turned to follow them. Cain parted the crowd easily. No one seemed eager to bump into him.  
Dean had a bad feeling about following this guy into what was adding up to be a nest of demons.  
But, nonetheless, blue eyes begged him to keep walking.

 

Cain was silent as he lead them to their destination, not replying to any attempt of conversation. They followed him to the outskirts of town, to a shabby but solid building. The best way to describe the noise emanating from it was loud. Nothing else to it. As they approached, a loud bang sounded, and a body went flying out the window and smacked into the street. Cain kicked the figure, and with a groan it rolled over to reveal a curvy girl with scraggly cloned hair and black eyes. A demon. She smiled up at them, somehow managing to look cocky and in control despite being covered in dirt and gods know what.  
"Ehhh, Cain! My main man, how's the wife?" She sniggered. Cain's calm face twisted, and he kicked it the face. Her head snapped to the side, and she coughed, spitting up blood.  
He walked over her and continued towards the building, but Charlie slowed down and crouched next to her before Dean could stop her. She held out a scrap of cloth, for the obvious intention of cleaning up the blood. The demon eyed her warily, but took the cloth and sat up, mopping up the blood around her mouth.   
"Your alright, redhead. Wouldn't stick around this part of town if I were you." She muttered.  
Dean pulled Charlie away, and they followed Cain into the building, hands on their weapons.   
It appeared to a be ruckus strewn tavern, darkly lit, beers and teeth flying everywhere, seeming to be in the state of an eternal bar fight. It took Dean a moment to realize that almost all the inhabitants of the building were demons. It made Dean's skin crawl.  
Cain climbed up onto a beer soaked table and raised a fist, immediately quieting the room. The demons paused their activities to glare begrudgingly at Cain. Dean raised an eyebrow at the hate-filled respect the demons seemed to have for Cain.  
"I have a group of newcomers here that wish for an audience with Lucifer. They say they have important business with him." He declared, gesturing at the group. All black eyes turned to them. Sam gulped, and stepped forward.  
"Winchesters? We've heard about you!" One hissed, stepping forward, but another one held them back.  
"Why do these human scum think they are worthy of our master?" It snarled.  
Dean had about two minutes to say something that would convince this horde of bloodthirsty monsters not to kill them. He said the only thing that came to mind.  
"Castiel says hello." He blurted.  
The effect was immediate. Demons muttered amongst themselves, unease filling the air. The demon that had addressed them, a girl with curly black hair, stepped forward even more, studying them suspiciously.  
"That's impossible. Castiel is dead, he is nothing more then a hunk of rock." She said slowly. Dean shrugged.  
"Well whatever he used to be, he's back on his feet now. You'd be surprised." Dean huffed, playing it as if Castiel were already awake and the curse was broken.  
Ruby glared at him. "We would know if someone got around to kissing that feathered chunk of marble. Your lying. True Love's Kiss makes a lot of ruckus upstairs, trust me." She snapped haughtily. Sam snapped his fingers.   
"A kiss? That's all?" He exclaimed. Ruby laughed, rolling her eyes.  
"Not just a kiss, dumbo. _True Love's Kiss_ . Which is impossible, because if Castiel was an unlovable freak in his first life, imagine how worse off he is as a sculpture of divine misery." She giggled.  
Sams shoulders snapped back, and he raised his chin to meet her in the eye, chest puffing out. Dorothy rolled her eyes from behind him.  
"Castiel is not a freak! And he is certainly not unlovable, trust me!" Sam exclaimed. There was a hush over the crowd, and Ruby narrowed her eyes. Dean felt dread settle into the pit of his stomach. Bad move.   
Ruby stalked forward.  
"You love him? That hunk of rock?" She exclaimed. Sam blinked, as if that were a stupid question, but before anyone could answer Ruby's face twisted and she lunged forward, wrapping an arm around Sam's wrist, and as quick as it happened, they were gone, blinking out of existence. Dean lunged forward, but he was to late, and only came up with empty air. He could here his heart pounding. Charlie swore.  
The demons laughed, but did not come any closer. Cain whirled to look at him, a mix of pity and something Dean couldn't comprehend in his intense eyes.  
"Go! Now! Before they change their minds and were all dead meat!" He shouted. Dean opened his mouth to protest, to say they should stay an fight, he wanted to rip apart every damn demon till he got his brother back, but Dorothy was already dragging him out the door. A combination of shock and common sense hummed through his awareness, and he was running blindly, hand in hand with Dorothy, running away from the town and back towards the treeline. Dean couldn't comprehend whatever Charlie was yelling, his mind was throbbing with one thought alone.  
His brother was gone.


	9. Breath Life Into My Lungs Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A flood of light, and Castiel knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At night when it's quiet and the waves come rolling in,  
> The merchant ship's light paints the dark as we sing hymns  
> To one who is great, whom but words cannot be seen  
> When all left is love, there will be no in between
> 
> Tucked in the corner of Earth  
> Naked in light we are birthed  
> Oh, can you hear the sea calling?  
> Calling us into the world
> 
> A distance from grace, we shall toil with our days  
> And take home the dirt that has rendered us as slaves  
> Our mothers will cry, is there something in the sky?  
> We know we are present here, but may never know why  
> -The Sea Is Calling, Temper Trap

Castiel knew something was wrong. He knew it before he even saw the haggard group return through the entrance, limping, eyes dull, with tear streaked faces. The most noteworthy trait, however, was the fact Sam was not with them. Castiel felt fear and dread grip him. Ellen stood, soon followed by the others. By their expressions, they understood instantly, but they didn't want to believe it. 

"Where's Sam?" Kevin asked meekly. Dean's jaw tightened as he stared at the floor, eyes distant.   
"Demons took him." He replied shortly. The effect was immediate. Charlie burst into tears, and Dorothy wrapped her up in her eyes. Bobby cursed. Kevin looked around in alarm.   
"Where did they take him? Why?" He exclaimed. 

"They probably took him to their master. Lucifer." Dean deadpanned. 

Castiel felt like he was being stabbed in the heart. "Why? Why would they want Sam?" Jo asked.  
"Because they thought he knew something about Cas. They think Sam loves Cas, so they took him. He was a threat." Dean said, voice monotone and lost in thought. There was a silence. Castiel couldn't believe this. Lucifer had Sam, because of him. If Lucifer hurt Sam in the ways he had hurt Cas, he would never be able to live with himself.  
"He's in that tower, isn’t he? How we supposed to get him out of an impenetrable tower?" Bobby exclaimed. Dean finally looked up, his intense gaze resting on Castiel. "With wings. The demons took the wrong brother." He whispered. And before anyone could stop him, Dean was striding forward, jumping up to stand on the pedestal, and then Dean's lips were pressed against his own stone ones. Surprise exploded in Castiel's mind, but every thought was quickly drowned out because Castiel was burning alive. It started in his lips, and _oh god_ he could feel Dean's lips against his, with no barriers. The fire spread over his, agony racing along his long dormant nerves, every cell coming back to life. The numbness was burned away, and before he knew it he felt his lungs take in a shuddering breath from a break in the kiss, and then it was back, He could feel Dean's arms wrapped around him, and he felt his heart start to beat again. The fire raced to his fingers and toes, and he curled his hands into Dean’s jacket, clinging to him, before everything turned black.   
\--------------   
Darkness.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
Breathe in again, just to make sure it's real. A tingling sensation. Something he hadn't felt in so long. It can't be real. But it is. Move a finger. Then an arm.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
_Dean loved him._

Opening eyes.   
Light.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
_Dean loved him._   
Blink. Oh god, how long had it been since he'd blinked?   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
Breathe in.   
"Cas?"   
It was so strange, to hear noise, here it fall on his ears, brush against him almost, instead of being filtered through his Grace and stone. He turned his head-oh, he was sore, but that should be expected considering- and was met with the greatest sight of his life. Dean was sitting next to him. Castiel opened his mouth, tongue feelings heavy and awkward.   
"D-dean?" He managed to get out, rolling his jaw and trying to assimilate himself to all these movements and sensations again. Dean's face split into a grin. Cas sat up slowly, groaning as he popped his back, and gasping as he stretched out his wings, tingling running through his very bones. A few feathers fell, but that was also to be expected. He was so overjoyed to be normal again he didn't have any time to feel those feelings of resentment towards his black wings whenever he usually even thought of them. Everything was so new, yet so achingly familiar. He stared down at his hands and body. Flesh. He cloud his eyes and was still for a moment, just relishing the heart beat in his chest, the rise and fall of his lungs.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out. 

His eyes snapped open, and he turned to stare at the Winchester, the gravity of what was happening finally really hitting him.   
_Dean loved him._

Dean blushed a little, clenching his jaw. "Cat's out of the bag, isn’t it?" He murmured nervously. Castiel didn't reply, instead, he did what he'd been longing to do for so long. He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around him, giving Dean a real, proper hug. After a moment of clinging to each other, Castiel shifted and brushed his lips against Dean's, hesitating, but Dean moved forward, and that was all the permission Castiel needed to dive in and capture the hunter's lips in his. He kissed as if Dean where the ocean, and Cas was happy to drown.   
Breathe in.   
Breathe out.   
_Dean loved him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Early Valentines <3  
> I was going to wait till the 14th to post this but I couldn't resist


	10. Doom On The Horizon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the end is painted black and gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and as I watched him on the stage  
> My hands were clenched in fists of rage  
> No angel born in Hell  
> Could break that Satan's spell
> 
> And as the flames climbed high into the night  
> To light the sacrificial rite  
> I saw Satan laughing with delight  
> The day the music died  
> -Don Mclean, American Pie

The others, having left to give the two lovebirds some privacy and go fetch supplies from town, returned. They were overjoyed to see Castiel awake, and Castiel was quickly enveloped in a warm group hug. The amount of love lacing the air broke Castiel down to tears. It was overwhelming, to be _'The Loveless'_ one minute, and then have a whole group of people overjoyed just to be able to touch and speak and look at you the next. Not unlike the yearly floods washing over him, this wasn't cold and vicious. This was intense, yes, but it was warm and gentle and safe and oh God it was everything Lucifer wasn't and Castiel felt like he could fly without being dragged back to the ground. 

He was still very weak, so they knew they had to wait a few days before they could rescue Sam. It drove them all wild, but they dealt with it. He spent this time working on relearning his body, strengthening his wings in anticipation for the climb, and plotting with the others on the perimeters of their plan. When he wasn't doing that, he was either helping Ellen clean and cook or he was with Dean. He liked that best. Dean was frazzled, constantly angry at Lucifer and worried about his brother, but in the secret times they shared before the dawn, in the shade of the monolisks, wrapped up in each others arms, just _breathing_ , he was more at peace. Castiel found that the idea of anything _else_ with Dean both excited and terrified him. All he knew was what Lucifer had done to him. What if he did it wrong? What if he wasn't good enough? What if Lucifer had spoiled his body, and Dean didn't want him that way? What if Dean thought he was damaged, dirty? Or maybe he was afraid that Castiel was the apprehensive one, and didn't want to push anything. That was more likely. Castiel knew he wanted Dean, but at the same time, he was afraid. For a lot of reasons, he supposed. But that all could wait until after they saved Sam.

"So, basically, this entire thing hinges on me?" Castiel asked slowly. Everyone in the circle nodded, some cringing in sympathy.

"You just have to fly up to the windows at the top, break in, and open the lower doors from the inside. These outlines Cain gave us shoulder help, people from the village helped build the tower, they still have blueprints." Kevin explained.

"But what if I run into Lucifer?" Castiel asked, staring down at the blueprints.

Kevin shrugged. "Punch him in the face, get away? I know he turned you to stone and everything, but you'll have the element of surprise." There was enthusiastic nods around the circle, all besides Dean, who was looking at Castiel with a clouded unreadable expression. Castiel's face, on the other hand, was blank. He slowly got up, turning away.

"Excuse me." He said quietly, wandering away from the group into the forest of stone monolisks and giant leafy plants. Everyone exchanged confused and concerned glances, save Dean, who stood and followed. Nobody else moved. Castiel knew Dean was following, so he waited until they were out of earshot of the rest of the group before he stopped, wings and arms wrapped around himself, staring at the ground blankly. Dean slowed, approaching him warily, like someone approaches a caged animal. 

"This entire plan hinges on me risking my life, going into the unknown, where the only even partial certainty is that I will probably have to confront my brother, my rapist, my best friend, my abuser, my lover, my imprisoner, my mentor, my…..Lucifer. I don't know if I can do this, Dean. I know I have to, it's the only way to get back Sam, and I desperately want to save him from my brother's clutches, but I'm terrified I'll fail. I'm weak, Dean, haven't you people fucking realized that yet? I'm weak of mind, I'm weak of heart, I'm weak of soul, weak of grace, weak of body." His words went from a sober, dreadful whisper to cracking exclamation.

Dean was silent through it all, until his voice faded into the air. "You are not weak of heart. You've got something inside you, Castiel, that let you move at night, let you control even little things around you. I'm pretty sure Lucifer didn't intend that with the spell, but he misjudged you. You were strong enough, you didn't let it take you over completely. I don't know a lot of shit Cas; I'm not he genus in the family. But I do know that you can do this." Dean told him, stern and soft all at once.

Castiel wrapped his arms tighter around himself angrily. "You are a fool to think such things of me, Dean Winchester, you are _a fool_ for loving me." He spat. He didn't know who he was angrier at. Lucifer? Dean? Himself?

"Yeah, I am. I'm a fool for thinking you didn't love me back, for being so afraid that only a tragedy could snap me out of it. I'm a fool for waiting so long to just fucking _kiss you_. And your the biggest fool of all Cas, for thinking that I could do _anything_ other then fall in love with you." Dean exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. Sincerity and exhaustion laced his words like sugar, but Castiel was sick of sweet things. A warm hand hesitantly brushed over his left wing, soothing him.

He relented, leaning back into the touch. The fight drained out of him. "How can you stand to touch them? Don't they disgust you?" He whispered.

Dean breathed in sharply. "Of course not, dammit, Cas- they're amazing! In fact, every time I see them, I just want to bury me hands in them, find the deep places under the feathers that let out the prettiest sounds from your mouth, but I don't, because….." The low heat emanating from Dean's hand drew away, and the cold washed back over that spot, frigid air leaching away the warmth.

"Because I'm broken. I am sullied, and spoiled, and that disturbs you." Castiel said, shoulders sagging. He scowled at the ground.

"It doesn't disturb me. You're not sullied, you're hurt. It didn't make you _dirty_ , what he did to you, it…….bruised you. It's left a big bruise, that's going to take a long time to fade, and I'm afraid if I touch it I'll only hurt you more." Dean struggled to explain.

The dread that had wrapped itself around Castiel fell away, and he huffed, turning towards Dean. He tilted his head, just looking, a spark in his blue eyes. "You try so hard to be noble, Dean. I am not sure what I want from ….this. From us. But I know that I want you. Maybe not everything yet, but you should never be afraid to touch me. Because for the first time in my whole life, someone touches me without anger, or disgust, or disdain. That someone is you. This bruise is not who I am, it's just something I must bear for a while. Do not be afraid to touch me, you fool." He said, stepping forward. As his words fell from his lips, something seemed to snap, a dam broke and the flood let loose. The tension that had hung around them shattering as Dean surged forward, wrapping firm but gentle arms around him, lips locking with his in a surge of heat and emotion.

He reached up and tangled his hand's in the hunter's hair, anchoring this moment down, never wanting to let it slip away from him. He never wanted to stop kissing Dean Winchester. Two fools, broken hearted and bruised, doomed to set out on a practical suicide mission in the morning, breathed each other in almost aggressively, fighting to learn every taste, knowing that soon the morning would steal away the sweetness of each others lips. Above them on the surface, over the hills of gold and towering above a town of cowards, the fortress of a mad man with hatred in his heart was brought a brand new toy. A serpent's smile spread across his features, and he ran his fingers over the cheek of his new pet, who jerked away angrily. 

"Tell me, what do you know of Castiel?" He whispered, voice like oil and honey. 

And if God is still watching, he must love the sight of blood, as the sky was painted red for days on end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THIS FAN FICTION, LISTEN TO IT AT : http://8tracks.com/snorkledestiel/marbled-hearts


	11. Horrible Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoever said the past can't hurt you fucking lied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: EXPLICIT DESCRIPTION OF PAST RAPE THEMES, AND PRESENT DESCRIPTION OF MOLESTATION AND TORTURE.

Blood, dripping slowly onto floors carved out of fractured fire opal. Like someone had spilled red ink on a page of the universe.  
"Oh, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. You're one tough cookie to crack. Whippings? Just a few screams out of you, bor-ing. Water torture? To sloppy for my taste. Ice baths? Effective for most, but you just clam right up. No pun intended, of course." Lucifer's voice drawled somewhere above his head. It was hard to focus above the pain, but Lucifer's apathetic lofty voice cut through the haze like a white hot blade through the skin between his toes.  
"It's been a week now, and you haven't given me anything. I suppose I'll have to get you too talk the hard way." He sighed.  
Sam grimaced. "A-and t-this was the e-easy way?" He croaked. This earned a thumbnail digging into one of the blistering burns on his forearm. He cried out, and Lucifer just tooted.  
"Not a word, yet still such a mouth. I like you, I really do. Of course, sarcastic stubborn giants are fun, but I always preferred submissive, broken hearted, little angels, that have no idea the power they hold until I rip it out of them. That's what really gets me stirring. Or has Castiel told you?" His lazy tone turned sharp and dark, almost giddy. Sam's stomach stunned in anger and disgust, and he struggled against the bonds.  
Lucifer laughed like Christmas had come early.  
"Perfect! The hard way is my favorite, actually. No pun intended. But really, you've had it good so far, I was just being nice." He informed Sam, turning away from the blood stained table he had strapped him to. The room was beautiful, with an opal floor, obsidian walls carved and laced in gold foil depicting scenes even Sam didn't recognize, lined with torches that cast out shadows instead of light. The ceiling was the most notable of all- a dome of thick crystal, showing the sky in all it's glory. They were in the very top of the tower, huge crystal windows on all the sides that faced the cardinal directions.

 

Various luxurious pieces of furniture littered the extravagant domicile. At the center of the circular room stood a huge spire, made of emerald and painted in dried blood that looked centuries old. At it's top, sat a hollow translucent sphere. Inside it swirled some unnamable substance, somewhere in between a liquid and a gas. Lucifer leaned up and placed his lips against a side of the sphere, then slowly drew back. The substance began to swirl more violently, and the white color changed to blue and red, two tendrils intertwined, the red one seeming to slowly consume the blue one.  
A light shone out of the sphere, like glowing dust in the air. It formed a floating image that slowly became clearer as the dust settled into shape.  
It was the inside of some structure, adorned by a bed and some shelves. There was the sound of something crashing in the distance, and the door banged open. On the magical screen, someone he instantly recognized as Lucifer- not having to have aged a day, it seemed- face twisted into a feral snarl, literally dragging another boy kicking and screaming into the room by his wings- his black wings. Sam gasped. Stone or not, he would recognize those wings anywhere.  
"If hurting you doesn't work, I'll make you watch me hurt the reason you're even here." Lucifer hissed.  
The Lucifer in the floating image shoved a young Castiel on the bed. Sam sucked in a breath. He couldn't have been older then 13, or whatever that was in angel years. Making what was about to happen next even more horrid.  
"Luci, p-please, what have I done wrong-" The boy sobbed, pushing away from him on the bed, which Lucifer came to stand next to, pulling his jutting cock from his trousers.  
"I've been so good to your worthless little self, Castiel! Don't you want to repay me? That's what friends do, Castiel, help each other. You do want to be my friend, don't you? Because if not, you can leave right now and never come back." He said coldly.  
Castiel went pale, and scrambled forward on the mattress, looking up at Lucifer with scared, pleading eyes.  
"No, of course not! Please, don't leave me, I don't want to be alone anymore, please!" He begged, on the edge of hysteria. Lucifer smiled smugly.  
"Then, you'd better help me out like a good boy, shouldn't you?" He suggested, running a hand over the length of his hard dick. Castiel gulped as he stared at the thing bobbing in front of him, shaking in terror. A tear glistened on his cheek as he lifted shaking small hands to wrap around the root, grimacing and scooting closer, hesitantly opening his mouth. The minute he did, Lucifer reached forward and grabbed his hair, fucking into his mouth. Castiel gagged and went to move back, but Lucifer's grip in his hair held him there. He sobbed around the intrusion in his mouth, trying to relax his jaw and make it less painful. Lucifer made no notice of his obvious agony, and moaned obscenely above him, plunging in deeper, causing the smaller angel to choke. Tears where cascading down his face by now.

 

In reality, Sam Winchester threw up. But since the present Lucifer was holding his head straight so he couldn't look away, the vomit just covered his chin, neck and chest. Warm and sticky and rancid smelling, soaking through his tattered cloths to mix with dried blood, stinging his wounds. Lucifer laughed.  
And then, the worst of the worst happened. Just as the Lucifer in the vision was forcing young Castiel onto the bed and tearing off his trousers as the boy did his best to try to kick him away, Lucifer reached down and cupped Sam's length through his jeans. Up until this point, Lucifer hadn't touched him near there, something he had been grateful for. He tried to thrash his hand away, but his captor only hummed and began to rub him through the fabric, Sam still being forced to watch the vision.  
Past Lucifer struck young Castiel across the face, dazing him, then pushed his cock into his entrance without any preparation. Castiel screamed in agony as Lucifer pounded into him, blood soon leaking out around Lucifer's length. In the real world, a horrified Sam was slowly growing hard from the stimulation. Shame stabbed into his heart like a dagger.  
 _I'm so sorry, Castiel._ He prayed in his mind as he felt unwanted pleasure assault him while watching his stone friend's very own rape.  
And, as if in answer, a blur of black and blue crashed through the eastern window. Lucifer startled, and the vision of dust dissipated.  
Standing proud among a field of broken glass, black wings fanned out in a display of dominance, shoulders thrown back and eyes blazing as he lifted his blade, stood Castiel.  
A very alive, flesh and blood Castiel.  
"Hello, Brother. Miss me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long
> 
> this chapter is dedicated to SoHoldMeTight  
> beta'd by my best friend and fellow destiel fic writer, RainyDaysInHeaven  
> GO READ HER STUFF RIGHT NOW HOLY SHIT LIKE YEAH  
> also yes  
> yes  
> keep drawing things from this I loVE IT


	12. Revolution Of The Heart

Lucifer's eyes widened, and a look of shock crossed his features before he composed himself. He slunk forward, regarding Castiel with joy.

"Brother Dearest, how i've missed you. I was just explaining to your little friend who you really belong to." he said sweetly.  
Castiel's eyes flashed, and the glint of light off a blade revealed the knife in his hand.

"I belong to no one. Not the Winchesters, not Heaven, not God, and certainly not to you." He growled.  
They circled around each other at a distance, sizing each other up. Sam could do nothing but watch intently.  
"So that's what you think, uh? You can run off and throw yourself at every little boy in his Daddy's clothes, and you won't be mine anymore? You could fuck a thousand men and woman, and you would still be mine. I possessed your heart. That was the whole _point_ , you fool." He spat.  
Castiel's brow furrowed.  
"What are you talking about?"

"All those nasty things I did? I did them for a reason. I needed to close Heaven, and lock all the other angels in side of it. But do you know what the main ingredient to locking Heaven is?" He asked sharply.  
Castiel did not answer, glaring at his brother.

"God's love. I was there when you were created, little brother. I know why God really disappeared. He poured the last of his love into _you_. He made you different. You were designed to be the bridge between humanity and angels, because God knew that the harmonious existence would end. He knew that with the advancement of evolution and technology, war was imminent, Unavoidable. So he created you, to fill in that empty space. Full of a love that no other angel possesses. A love for every living thing, even the little bug under your foot.You were possessed by it, it is a part of you. Fundamental. Love of everything. The love of god, to be exact. I had to possess your heart before you could grow to your full potential. I had to break you into something only I can truly hold together. You are mine and you know it. These humans are merely a small misgiving. I will dispose of them, and then we can be together again." Lucifer crowed.  
Castiel's expression twisted.

"I-you let me believe- I did love you, in a sick, twisted, desperate way. But that was not true love. And you will never truly possess my heart. My heart is mine, and my love is mine to give. And I will not give it to you. Ever again." He snarled.  
Lucifer's eyes narrowed. He snapped his fingers.

Dean, Ellen, Bobby, Cain, Charlie, Dorothy, Jo, Garth and Kevin appeared, blinking and confused. Sam's heart both lept and broke at once.

"You really think I didn't notice them lurking behind my walls?" Lucifer laughed.  
Castiel stiffened. Dean, upon laying eyes on Lucifer and realizing who he was, growled and raise this knife. Lucifer snapped his fingers again.  
And before Castiel could even blink, they all turned into solid forms of marble. Even Sam.  
Castiel screamed, forgetting himself and rushing forward. But when he stroked Dean's face, it was cold rock. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean's new stone ones. Nothing happened. Lucifer laughed. "It doesn't work that way, this time. Nothing can let them out." He  
Castiel spun around, tears streaming down his face.  
"You will never have my love, but my hate is all yours." He cried. Lucifer snapped, and Castiel wasn't standing anymore. He was lying, naked, on the floor. His weapon was nowhere to be seen. Lucifer straddled him, grinning like a shark.  
Panic began to set in. He felt like a fledgling again. He fought as hard as he could, trying to get the bigger angel off. But he wouldn't budge.  
"You are mine. And I'm going to prove it. I'm going to fuck you, right in front of your little human pets. And they won't be able to do a thing, and neither will you. You are a fool, Castiel. Always have been. You came willingly into my territory so long ago, and that left you powerless. And then you do the exact same thing! You have no strength in this place, just as in that cabin. This is my place, of my creation. I am in charge here." He boasted.  
Lucifer didn't even have to physically hold him down- suddenly, it was like invisible ropes where binding him to the floor. He couldn't budge. He was helpless.

Lucifer chuckled softly, and began to slowly take his own clothes off. Obviously wanting to stall, so Castiel's terror would only grow. Bastard.  
He had promised himself he would never be helpless again. And here he was.  
As Lucifer began to spread his legs and lick over his entrance, he began to cry. He close this eyes, he knew his friends could see. They must be screaming inside there stone forms, but they couldn't do anything. They couldn't stop it. Nobody could stop it. He was doomed.  
Lucifer began to suckle his cock. The older angel took sick satisfaction in making him enjoy it.  
Suddenly, Castiel wasn't scared anymore. He was fucking pissed. He was red hot with anger. He was sick of this. Of being powerless. God gave him the last of his love and some sort of power, right? Well, maybe that was the key.  
He took deep breaths, distancing himself from the physical plan. He thought about everything he loved. His friends, the smell of wet moss, movement, the blue sky, forget me nots, crackling fires, bees, Dean's eyes, sunlight through green leaves, the way Charlie laughed, scowling, smiling, forests, bugs, how diligently humans worked in their fields. He focused on that, the overwhelming peace and love he found in his Father's creation. The things he had missed the most during his imprisonment. It swelled up in his chest, and the invisible ropes broke. Castiel brought his right knee crashing into Lucifer's jugular, and he choked, falling back and wheezing. Castiel stood, and summoned his clothes back onto his body. He spread his black wings out big. His disgusting black wings. The color of oblivion.  
His wonderful black wings, like the night sky. And Dean's freckles where the stars, he thought fleetingly.  
Lucifer looked shocked. Castiel didn't have a weapon.  
Castiel turned to the huge globe in the middle of the room, and rested his hand against it. The smoke turned neon blue. He poured his love, and his forgiveness into it. He forgave his siblings. He understood. And he forgave them. They had been prisoner far too long.  
They all had. 

A beam shot through the crystal ceiling and into the clouds. Lucifer was shouting, but he didn't care. He poured every drop of love, of hate, of despair, of calm. He poured misery and unconditional love into it, and the beam grew stronger. Someone was yanking on him, but he didn't move an inch.  
Something exploded above them. Everything shook and things flew around the room in the turbulence. The world seemed to freeze, then shatter. The force of it slammed Castiel into the floor. He felt his right wing snap, and he screamed. 

The light faded, and in it's wake, stood none other than Michael. And he looked pissed beyond all existence.  
Castiel fought against the pain, sitting up. Lucifer scrambled away from them both, disoriented. He did not get far.  
Michael strode over him, and slit his throat with an angel blade. Light exploded out, and his body fell to the ground, a limp husk.  
Castiel felt strangely sad and elated at the same time, but his pain was drowning it out.  
Michael turned t him, and cocked his head.  
"I owe you a thousand pardons, little brother. We all let our emotions cloud our logic, and abused you for it." He said, words straight forward and a bit sad.  
Castiel nodded. Michael came forward, leaning down, and healed his wing with a wave. Castiel slumped in relief.  
"I can change the, you know. I have grown more powerful in my imprisonment. They could be white, or blue, or gold." Michael offered.  
Castiel hesitated.  
"No. I like them the way they are. Can you?" He turned to look at the group of statues.  
In a second, they were all flesh, gasping for breath and shaking. Castiel almost passed out, he was so overjoyed.  
"You have done well brother. I'm sorry I allowed you to suffer as long as you did. In lots of ways. Consider this a ….thank you gift. I must go, and organize our return to Earth. See you soon, little raven." Michael bade him goodbye, and flapped this huge eagle wings, soaring up through the broken glass ceiling.

Castiel stared at Lucifer's dead corpse, a little stunned. A groan of pain woke him from the stupor, and he jumped up, running to Sam's side.  
He began to heal his injuries. While it was draining, it was important.  
His friends came to stand next to him, and once Sam was mostly healed, they all slung to each other in a rather embarrassing group hug.  
Castiel had never been so relieved, or so content.


	13. Epilogue- The Start Of Forever.

Sweet summer rain cascaded down from an azure sky, the span of blue marred by a thin scar of cloud from which the rain fell in a line.  
Said line of crying clouds swept forward slowly, controlled by the will of an angel, with eyes to match that sky. His upturned hands guided the clouds, and the townspeople cheered and danced about in joy as Castiel watered their struggling crops. 

Ever since Heaven had been reopened and the angels had descended again, his Grace had been imbued with the strength of his Father. He could feel it, now. The love, seeping from in between his bones and pouring from the mouths and eyes of his family, rippling through the laughter of the children who ducked under the string of clouds to splash water at each other. He understood now. He was filled with enough light to bring life to a thousand fields of forget me nots, he need only believe that he was worthy of flourishing. 

Raphael and the others who had tormented him worst came crawling forward with drooping wings and hearts full of regret and confusion and shame.  
Dean had wanted to hurt them, drive them away knowing they would not be forgiven for the misery they inflicted of his beloved.  
Castiel smiled down at them and kissed them on their brows. They looked up at him then, in surprise and awe, and they wept. For it was then they finally felt the love of God they had been starved of.  
Dean had repented for his violent thoughts and turned his head away from Castiel, feeling that he did not deserve to be loved by such. 

For he was born of earth, carnal, full of rage and all the stubbornness of mountains, bathed in blood and ash and fire, fighting for eternity for the chance to breath a whisp of the sky. Carving sorrow into his own bones so that he may have room to carry the pain of others, giving up his body for his fast beating heart and never once doubting that as long as he does something for love of another, it cannot be wrong. Yet doubting all the good that may come for him alone, for he loves all else fierce as he fights, but can never love himself enough. He believes in tooth and claw and the bonds of family, holding strong in the inferno of the night. For he is riddled with the scars of sin, like maps of devastation over his flesh and meager soul, and only the light of others keeps his head above the mud.  
He is primordial darkness, while Castiel is starlight and purity and open spaces, the freedom and peace of the sky, the softness of clouds and the sharp, unending heat of the scorching sun, burning all who are unworthy and giving life to those who are. Distant, and wonderful, and unfathomable.  
Castiel understands all of this. And he is determined to spend all the time his Father allows him in this realm, showing Dean how wrong he is.  
They walk in shadow and in golden dawns, hand in hand with those they have allowed into their hearts, cutting down armies who defy them and then raising them up again with the forgiveness that comes from a thousand mistakes. They will never fall, as long as they have each other to hold up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's over  
> Thank you to all who have read and loved this story, it was a blast to write.

**Author's Note:**

> comments make the world go round


End file.
